I just told one of my favourite people (and favourite writers) that she’s a failure. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I thought to myself, “Oooooh shit. This could go one of two ways…..either really, really good or really, really badly.”
But you know what she said?
“Thank you. You’re my original cheerleader, and I truly value your words. Even the hardest ones to hear.”
If there’s one thing I took away from training to be a life coach (aside from the fact that I don’t want to BE a life coach), it’s that if you truly value, respect and trust someone, you can (and should) be honest with them. And if they truly value and trust you, they will respect your honesty.
That’s not to say that I should go around telling all my favourite people what I really think of them, no holds barred. With this particular person, I know that I did it with kindness and ultimate love (as does she). You see, she’s not a failure. In fact, she’s damn fucking amazing. One of the toughest, funniest, joyful-est, determined-est (but scaredest) people I know. And her fear is getting in the way of her amazingness. More specifically, her fear of failure is getting in the way of her amazingness. And isn’t that ironic? (dontcha think?) Being afraid to do something because you’re afraid of failing, does not equal being a success. It’s failing in a passive way. Is that better than a total, all-out failure? I’m not sure…
Anyways, it got me thinking. Is there anything I’m passively failing at? Sometimes it’s hard to see those things yourself, but if I were to look really closely and honestly at myself, I wonder what I’d discover. If I looked at myself with the same love and respect that I looked at my friend today, what would I see?
“Though I may be going down, I’ll take in flames rather than burning out” ~ Sara Bareilles, “Uncharted”