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What I Want

  • Posted on March 7, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Is it March already? Seriously – time has been flying.  It may have had something to do with the dreamy 3 weeks I just spent in Europe, but I really do feel like life has been moving in fast forward the last little while.  And I’ve barely been making time to enjoy it.

I love going away for extended periods of time because I can take a step back from my life and look at it from a distance.  Unfortunately, I always see the same things – crazy girl living a fast-paced, jam-packed, “never say no,” must-fit-it-all-in life.  And suddenly I find myself dropped into the middle of somewhere like Venice or Paris or Cancun, and I’m shell-shocked. I can’t recall the days leading up to the trip because they were so frantic, as I tried to tie up all the loose ends.

But the joyous part is that it’s all just a little bit hilarious.

When I take a step back, I can’t help but laugh at the disgusting amounts of effort I put into making everything absolutely 100% perfect in my day-to-day life. It is seriously amusing (and somewhat alarming) at the time and energy I put into things I honestly do NOT care about.  But I don’t see that until I look at things from a distance.

I realized something while I was away.  There are a select few things in my life that I really want.  And I never give them enough focus because I spend my time doing all the things I think I “should be doing.” Trust me, I know how familiar this sounds – I cannot count the times that this has been an epiphany on this blog. But clearly something is not sticking.

So, staying true to form, I’m going to make a list.  A reminder, that these are the things that matter to me most; these are the things that I want in my life and that I should not be willing to sacrifice so easily:

1.)   Writing – this blog is one of the best things in my life, and I have posted so infrequently in the last few months.  I miss it.  And I miss writing.

2.)   Personal Connections – my family and friends are incredibly important to me, and so are the connections that I’ve been building creatively and through my blog.  I want to continue developing my creative connections, and I’ve got big ideas brewing for this.

3.)   Music – I did not realize how much I missed having music in my life regularly until I recently was invited to join Aliqua.  I now have big ambitions in the music realm, including performing and writing.  Time to focus on those.

4.)   Creativity/Colour/Fresh Air – I don’t really know how to explain this one because it’s more of a feeling.  But I want more of it in my life.

5.)   Movement/Health – Before I went away, I had gotten to the point where I felt like I *had* to work out, or go to yoga, or go for a run.  I don’t want to feel like it’s a chore.  I want to feel like I have the time to truly enjoy being active.

6.)   Love – dedicating time to my personal relationships is really crucial right now. I’m in a good place and I want to keep it that way :)

7.)   Solitude – I need to feel free to spend time alone.  It’s an essential part of my sanity and peace of mind.

8.)   Good Food – I admit, this one seems a little trivial compared to the other “big” ones above, but I seriously get such satisfaction out of eating good food.  So, it’s going on the list, dammit!

My goal – make it so that each day only contains things that I look forward to.

I’m very, very close.

Make: Music, Decisions and Pie

  • Posted on December 6, 2010 at 3:48 pm

December 6Make.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Music.  The last thing I made was music.

I used my voice, the voices of others, my talent, the talent of others. I used friendship and compassion and cooperation and creativity and understanding.  I used patience and breath, colour and movement, spirit and soul. I used everything that was right in my day, and I swirled it all together in harmony.

I’m a maker by nature. Creativity is such an essential part of who I am that I get the urge to make things all the time, whether it’s a new recipe, a birthday card, a scarf, a necklace, a song, Ikea furniture.  You name it, and chances are, I’d like to try my hand at making it.

But in the coming year, I’d like to make decisions.  And as fate would have it, I just managed to make one very big decision that has conveniently cleared up a lot of time to allow me to pay attention to those other decisions I want to make. I want 2011 to be about clarity. I want to dedicate time to really thinking about what my next steps are in my life and in my business.

Oh, and I want to learn how to make my grandmother’s apple pie. Because decisions are so much easier to make when there’s pie.