It took me almost 5 years of being married, but I have now (almost) officially change my name. And it feels fucking weird.
Initially, it was really just laziness that held me back. It seemed like such a giant pain-in-the-ass to go through all of the various processes to change all of my documentation over. So, I just didn’t. I’ve never really been particularly attached to my maiden name. It’s a nice enough name. But I’m not obsessed with it.
And then, when I kind of got to thinking about actually changing my name, I went through a lot of mixed emotions. Wouldn’t it be anti-feminist to take my husband’s last name? Why do I have to conform? Why doesn’t he change his name? Why do I have to be the one that goes through all the trouble? What kind of example am I setting by changing my name? What kind of example am I setting by not changing my name? Won’t it look bad, after 5 years of being married and not changing my name, to finally change it over? And ugh….I do NOT want to be referred to as a “Mrs.”
I seriously gave it a lot of thought.
And ultimately, it came down to this: I’ve done a lot of personal soul-searching and figuring out just what the hell I’m all about in the past year or so. I’ve literally uncovered a whole new me – a me I kind of suspected was there, but wasn’t really sure how to unearth. But I am not the same person I was a year ago. I am not the Eran Norton that I used to be.
And it felt like I could use a new name to go along with this new identity.
So, Eran Sudds has been born.
I’m not gonna say I’m totally used to it yet. I am so NOT used to it. But it’s kinda like putting on a pair of freshly cleaned jeans. You literally have to squeeze yer ass into them, and they don’t really fit right away, but the more you wear them, the cozier they feel and the more comfortable you become.
Wearing my new name has been like putting on those dryer-fresh jeans. I feel awkward and not quite right in this name, but I’m wearing it in, slowly but surely. It’s a heck of a lot quirkier than my old name, and I like that. It’s shorter – I like that too.
And I’m sure that eventually, it’ll fit me perfectly. As long as nobody ever calls me Mrs. Sudds.