For a long time, I hated goals. Hated having them, hating making them, hated other people that had them and made them. The truth of the matter is that I couldn’t actually think of anything that I really wanted that badly that I had to put it down on paper and make it an official “goal.” I thought, “Sure, it would be nice to have a sailboat one day. I’d be okay with having a beach house, or traveling to Spain. I’d love to make more money or have children one day. But mneh….I don’t have to have any of these things.” The only thing I really really wanted was to be happy – which I wasn’t.
My husband (aka Mr. Ambitious) thought I was nuts. I think he may have actually had goals since the day his mother gave birth to him. I’m sure even Baby Mr. Ambitious had goals of walking, talking, eating solid foods, pooping three times daily. But not me – I realized I was afraid to set goals. I didn’t want to disappoint myself by not achieving them. If something wonderful should happen to occur in my life, then great! I’ll take it! But I wasn’t going to let myself “want” it. I wasn’t ready to strive for something – mostly ‘cause I was petrified I’d never achieve it and then where would I be? A Big Lonely Failure.
I was afraid to set goals because I knew I was not on a path that would actually let me achieve any of the things I wanted. So, I didn’t even bother to let myself want them in the first place. I thought I just didn’t care – but in reality, the fear of failure wasn’t letting me care. It wasn’t until I actually started living the life I wanted – until I stopped being afraid of that life – that I was able to actually be okay with setting goals.
Now it’s exciting! To keep track of my goals, I’ve started a Life List. There are a few websites out there that can help you to create a Life List (some may also know this as a “Bucket List”), but I’ve chosen to use www.superviva.com. It allows me to add new life goals whenever I want, plus cross them off when I’ve completed them. You can also view other people’s Life Lists and get ideas for your own. You can view my Life List here: http://superviva.com/people/star79.
And it just so happens that I’m crossing off one of my big life goals in just 3 days. Yup! In 3 days, I’m going to France! Mr. Ambitious and I are embarking on my dream trip, and touring around France for 3 weeks. My goal (see, I can use that word now!) is to continue blogging while I’m there, but if you don’t hear from me as frequently, don’t be alarmed! I shall return full force at the end of February, fresh with new tales and ideas!
Once again, thanks to everyone who has continued to follow this blog. Your support has meant more to me that you’ll ever know and I truly appreciate each and every one of you.
What’s on YOUR life list? I’d love to hear from you!
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